The Mythical Writer

Recently, I watched a few episodes of the Showtime television series, Californication. If you've never heard of it, the show revolves around the life of Hank Moody, a writer, philanderer and all-around basket case.

I'll say flat out that I wasn't impressed (and I apologize to anyone who may enjoy the series - taste is so subjective, isn't it?) But it wasn't the strong language that turned me off. Or the depiction of drug use. Or even the nudie scenes. No, my beef with the show was that Hank Moody was such a stereotypical writer.

For some reason, there seems to be a kind of mystique surrounding the persona of writer..the brooding, lonely, morbidly-self obsessed lout who keeps himself locked away from humanity and longs so desperately for just the right soul mate to understand his angst....

P'shaw!

Writers aren't a special breed. Certainly no more special than anyone else. We're just regular people. And just like any other group (clergy, pre-teen girls, lawyers, people who live in Ohio), writers are made up of people many different backgrounds, lifestyles, and personality types.

Just so that everyone knows what I'm talking about, I've listed a few of the typical writer stereotypes here:

1) All writers are hostile, arrogant, ego-centric people.
Sure, there are some writers who think they are God's gift to humanity, but the vast majority are very nice people. Writers love their families and friends and enjoy getting out. Some are religious; many do charity work. Writers drive their kids to soccer practice and go to coffee with their friends where they listen patiently to stories about financial worries or love interests or whatever. Generally, writers don't throw tantrums in public or go around alienating every one who crosses their paths.

2) All writers are drug (alcohol, sex, whatever) addicts.
The lives of writers like Egdar Allen Poe, Samuel Taylor Coleridge and Hunter S. Thompson stand out because, let's face it, bad behavior is always more interesting than good behavior. But not every writer is a drug addict. One prime example would be Stephanie Meyer (author of the Twilight Series) who is a Mormon. As far as I understand Mormonism, this means Ms. Meyer would not so much as drink a cup of caffeinated coffee. Yes, many writers have struggled with addiction, but it is certainly not a prerequisite.

3) All writers are best friends with their agents/editors/publishers.
No.
In case that wasn't clear, let me say that again: NO!
When it comes to agents/editors/publishers, writers are not friends; they're clients. And as such, the writer and her agent/editor/publisher have a business relationship.

4) All writers have terrible family lives.
Personally, if it weren't for my terrific family, I'd never have the courage and determination to keep writing. My family is my own little cheering squad, and I can't thank them enough for their support. Sure, writers have painful childhoods or horrible ex-husbands or friends who betray them. But so does everyone else. The only difference is that writers use that material to fuel their writing.

I understand that a hard-drinking, womanizing, misanthrope like Hank Moody might make for a much more interesting character to watch on television than say, someone like me (boring suburban soccer mom). However, I just want to set the record straight...

...not all writers are alike.

New Year; New Resolutions

Champagne
Originally uploaded by fuzuoko

Now that the new year has arrived, I find that I must do something about the resolutions I made on December 31 (after a few too many glasses of champagne, I might add.) One of those resolutions - maybe the hardest one - was do something with this blog.

Something...anything!!

Looking back, I see that I made a huge mistake when tackling the blog thing. That is, the name. The very sight of it makes me cringe: Writing Advice for the Absolute Newbie... What was I thinking? After all, I'm the newbie!

Because of the obnoxious title, I beat my head against the wall every time I want to create a post. I feel a great deal of pressure to give all of this wonderful advice when, the truth is, I don't have a clue about what it takes to be a highly successful writer. After all, if I did, I'd be on the NYT best seller list.

But beyond all of that, I do enjoy blogging. Mostly because I like writing in any form. But there's also the added bonus of seeing that I have 'followers' (which is a strange word to use since it makes me feel like a cult leader or something.) I also love the comments people leave (the nice ones anyhow). And I love reading your blogs as well!

So the blog - despite it's wickedly pretentious name - continues on. More than likely without much advice.

Unless I drink too much champagne, that is.

Even More Shameless Self Promotion

Here's yet another review for my novel, The Dragons of Hazlett. This one comes in from Long and Short Romance Reviews. Four and a half books out of five. Not bad!

A Writer's Primer

Sinking in words ...
Originally uploaded by so_martinha

It occurred to me the other day that some of the slang that writers use isn't always easily understandable to the uninitiated. Therefore, here are a few simple terms and phrases to help you navigate writers' websites, chat rooms, and other sites:

Beta reader (or betas) - (n) readers who give critiques and advice on a writer's work in progress. This step usually takes place when the book has been completely finished, but before it is sent off to a publisher or agent.

Dialogue tags (or speech tags) - (n) those bits of description that are conjoined to a characters dialogue. For example: "But, Henry," Kristen said with tears in her eyes, "I thought you liked yogurt."

Fan Fic - fan fiction (n) a type of fiction written by fans of pre-existing stories, especially those in a television series. For example, many people who enjoy Star Trek and The X-Files write fan fic about the series.

Genre - (n) a subcategory or type of fiction such as fantasy, historical romance, horror, etc.

ISBN - International Standard Book Number (n) a unique identification code for books that are published internationally.

MC - main character (n) the protagonist or main character in a work of fiction. For example, Ishmael is the mc in Herman Melville's Moby Dick.

POV - point of view (n) the perspective from which a book is written. First person and third person points of view are most common; however, second person pov is also possible.

Scifi - Science fiction (n) a genre of literature usually involving, although not limited to, space and/or time travel, advanced technology, interplanetary exploration, etc.

Voice - (n) the tone and style of a story, oftentimes the thumbprint of the author. Voice includes such things as word choice, sentence length, pacing, etc.

WC - word count (n) the number of words in a particular story or book.

WIP - work in progress (n) the manuscript(s) that the author is currently working on.

First Rights

If you're lucky enough to have published a piece of fiction, you've certainly signed a contract with the publisher. Whether your piece was a short story or a novel, a poem or an editorial, you gave the publisher permission to be the first one to print your work in his or her publication.

Whenever this happens in the U.S., Canada or Mexico, the author has signed away her first North American serial rights (fnasr) to the publisher. (My apologies to the rest of the world, but I'm only going into North American rights in this post!) That is, the author gives permission to the publisher to be the first to publish her work.

Until these rights expire, an author may not sell her work to other markets. The contract she signs with her publisher will set forth how long the rights extend. Generally, for a short story being printed in a magazine, the rights will be set at a year. For novels, this may be different.

As simple as this sounds, confusion still abounds. If an author self-publishes her work (either by posting it on a blog or going through a self-publishing agency such as Lulu or Publish America), she has already used up her first printing rights. If she's posted her work on a message board or an online group critique forum (unless that forum has adhered to certain standards such as a 'members only' or 'password protected' policy and is unintended to be viewed by the general public), she may have already used up her first rights. And if the first rights have already been used up, many publishers will not reprint it.
So be careful!

Stay Fresh

Shhhhhhhhhh!
Originally uploaded by amp'ed

Living in the moment is important; writing for the moment is not. Good writers give their writing staying power. That is, they work to make sure that what they write sounds as current to a reader today as it will to a reader in twenty years.

There is a tendency among some writers (and I lay claim to this fault as well!) to insert such things as brand names or current iconic figures in their writing. I think this is an attempt to connect with the readers, and to make the fiction seem very 'now' and 'current'. But what seems hip and new and oh-so-cool right now will be passe and dated and completely out of vogue in a very short time.

For example, let's say that a writer five years ago, wanting to be current, writes the following:

Tom turned off the television, sick of the Hurricane Katrina coverage. There was so much tragedy in the world, so many people suffering! Not that his family cared. His middle daughter was pouting because he wouldn't let her go to the movie with her friend so that they would worship their idol, Hillary Duff. And his son was already begging him for a Nintendo DS, and the toy hadn't even been released in the U.S. yet! His kids had no idea how good they had it.

Now, let's try that with all of the trendy parts removed:

Tom turned off the television, sick of watching the news. There was so much tragedy in the world, so many people suffering! Not that his family cared. His middle daughter was pouting because he wouldn't let her go to the movies with her friend. And his son was already begging him for a video game that wouldn't be released in the U.S. for another month. His kids had no idea how good they had it.

Which of these scenarios sounds more current? The first one, with all of the references to pop stars and news headlines, definitely reads like it was written in 2004. The other one would have been current in 2004, 2009, and - unless things change drastically - 2020.

Whenever possible, leave out references to current cultural trends, news stories, and even brand names because when you do, you are placing a big 'sell by this date' sticker on your work. In this world, things change in a heartbeat. What sounds current now will only sound dated by the time your work is published.

Unless you are writing a period piece, you you don't want to date your writing. period.

Share the Love (of reading)

Rebecca over at Scratch That pointed out this bit of fun.

* Grab the book nearest to you.
* Turn to page 56. * Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the sentence with instructions on your blog.
* Post link to Storytime with Tonya and Friends.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the closest.

Or, if you prefer, just place the sentence in comments here.

Here's my contribution (from my son's copy of Weird Michigan) : "Besides inventing and perfecting illusions and escape techniques, Houdini was very interested in spiritualism."

Another Review of "The Dragons of Hazlett"

I'm pleased to announce that another review of my novel, The Dragons of Hazlett, has been posted at Stella Matutina's blog.

Deep Purple

Deep Purple
Originally uploaded by nerdvin

There are so many lovely words in the English language, aren't there? Quixotic, erudite, tenebrous... All those lovely adverbs and adjectives just waiting to be used by the likes of us. Like shopping in an exquisite candy store, sometimes it's difficult to reign ourselves in. (Besides, unlike the candy store, words are free!)

But we have to. Most times, restraint and not overabundance is what makes a writer good. Consider this:

"Her face had the fragrance of a gibbous moon. The scent of fresh snow. Her eyes were dark birds in fresh snow. They were the birds' shadows, they were mirrors; they were the legends on old charts. They were antique armor and the tears of dragons. Her brows were a raptor's sharp, anxious wings. They were a pair of scythes. Her ears were a puzzle carved in ivory. Her teeth were her only bracelet; she carried them within the red velvet purse of her lips. Her tongue was amber. Her tongue was a ferret, an anemone, a fox caught in the teeth of a tiger."

Now, not every author has a style that I appreciate, but this is WAY over the top (and, yes, this is an actual quote from a book published by a major publishing house. I was first alerted to it by a post on Live-Journal.) The above selection is an extreme example, but sometimes it takes an extreme example to make a point.

This kind of writing should be done as a warm up activity only. Or, it can even be helpful to brainstorm in this way. Frequently, I wil freewrite for ten minutes when I'm confronting a passage of description. But after I put those words on paper, I edit my work. Three paragraphs of writing may be condensed down to a single sentence or two.

Grapes, wine, and pansies can all be purple. But never, ever, let your prose get that way!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - a Movie Review

Once again, my friend and fellow blogger The FilmNut gave me the opportunity to review a movie. So here it is!

Take Time to Edit

Grasshopper
Originally uploaded by forbesimages

If you're like me, the moment you finish writing a story (or a novel, or a poem, or whatever), you want to dash off a thousand queries to a thousand markets in the hope that one will accept it. There's something about typing the words 'The End' at the bottom of the last page that make me want to send that manuscript off pronto!

But when I feel this way, I always remember those immortal words, "Patience, Grasshopper."

Over the years, I've found that the very last thing I should do when I first finish a story is send it out. That's because finishing a work is a lot like finally consummating a passionate, oftentimes rocky, relationship. You've struggled with writing the story, maybe even laid awake at nights thinking about it. The plot has thwarted you. The descriptions have plagued you. The characters have evaded you. But now you're finished. It's a genuine high. (I've been known to literally do a dance in my office after finishing a piece, much in the same way that quarterbacks will dance in the end zone after completing a touchdown.)

This is the time you'll have that post-consummation, dreamy feeling about your story. You won't see its flaws; you'll only be rejoicing that you've finally finished the darn thing. You'll be thinking of seeing your name on the printed page and fan mail and royalties.

What you need (and what your story needs) at this point is a good dose of reality. You need to look at your work - not with those dreamy, lovey-dovey eyes - but with the cold, hard eyes of someone who has woken up the next morning and realized that she's written a book (or a story or whatever).

Once you complete that story - even if you've been editing all along - set it aside. For a week. Better yet, if you can stand it, for a month. Then re-read it carefully. Read it out loud to yourself, in fact. You'll be amazed at what you discover. Those words you thought were all perfectly spelled, that carefully crafted plot, those passages of description... There is nothing like time and distance to make the flaws in your writing stand out (and I am saying this from a lot of personal experience).

When you send your work off to the agent or market of your choice, you want to be 100% confident that your work is the very best it can be. For that, you need to give yourself some time away from your work.

Ten Most Wanted

Speaking of queries...

If you think selling short fiction is tough, the process for novel-length work contains its own novel-sized problem.

The snarky yet hilarious post on Tumblemoose puts query writing into perspective. Cops style.

4,000 to 1

Other imprint's slush pile
Originally uploaded by Katertot

First, something fun.

National Public Radio is hosting another writers' competition. This one has to do with writing titles. In honor (well, kind of) of the late Robert Ludlum, NPR is asking listeners to tweet their attempts at the worst possible title for a spy movie. In order to read the entries, go to Twitter and enter #AbsurdSpyMovies in the 'search' box. Some of my favorites include: The Carradine Complication, The Freudian Fling, and "Live and Let Tie-Dye". I'm also proud of mine: The Gordian Nautilus.

# # # #

Okay, onto today's real topic. Slush.

No one likes to think about slush piles. Not editors, not agents, and certainly not writers. The very idea of a slush pile can make hardened writers tremble and turn gray. Today's blog title, "4,000 to 1" is actually a statistic that was posted on Mike Resnick's recent article Slush. This is the odds of a new writer being accepted by Asimov's magazine. And the picture for today's post? You guessed it - it's a slush pile.

Over the next few posts, I hope to help you improve your slush-pile odds. But let me be clear: I cannot guarantee that you will be accepted!! I am speaking as a somewhat newbie writer myself (though, I will say that I have a dozen or more publishing credits!) Certainly, I suffer from slush and rejections as much as anyone.

But even though there is no magic formula to success, there are concrete things that you, as a writer, can do to help your manuscript the best it can be and - hopefully - make it to the top of the slush pile.

Sometimes Summer Gets in the Way

It's been so long since I've last written that when I tried to enter the Blogspot site, I was sent to the login page. It's like being asked for your ID at the neighborhood bar. But to be fair, I haven't written in a while.

Sometimes summer just gets in the way.

Well, I'm back with a few new ideas for posts (including some on how to proofread a story and what makes a story work), but for today, I'd like to share a fun bit that I found on NPR (National Public Radio).

Writing flash fiction is difficult. It may not seem that way, but it is. The fewer words a story contains, the more difficult it is to tell the story. It's like trying to run a household on a tight budget. There's no room for extras.

Enter NPR's Three-Minute Fiction Writing contest. Last June, National Public Radio asked its listeners to submit stories that could be read in three minutes or less. After slogging through 5,000 submissions, the results are in. You can read the winning entries here.

Flash fiction has never been something I've been able to write. I guess I'm just too verbose. But I had a fun time reading these winning entries, and I hope you will too.

It's good to be back!

A Review of "The Dragons of Hazlett"

My novel, The Dragons of Hazlett, has just been reviewed at Bearmountain Books. Needless to say, I'm thrilled!

Publishing with a Small Press

I knew fairly early on after completing my novel that I wanted to publish with a small press. I'd run the gauntlet of submitting to major publishing houses before and, having some idea of the massive slushpiles and phenomenally long response times, didn't feel up to the task this time around. Agents, of course, are another route, but the first agent I queried (a big name in the speculative fiction markets) said that he thought the world in which my book took place was too unbelievable. Worrying that other agents might feel the same way, I began to seriously consider an alternative.

The obvious place to begin looking for a small press was the Internet. The first thing I discovered is that there are a lot of small presses! Some of these I immediately rejected because they weren't very established: their author lists were quite short and their name recognition seemed to stretch only as far as the boundaries of their web page. Others didn't print speculative fiction. When I came across Mundania, however, I found that it met all my criteria. It had a history of publication with many authors, it was well rated on the writing advocate websites I checked, and its authors produce quality, award-winning work. After researching the company, I knew I'd found a place to submit.

Not that submitting to a small press is a sure-fire guarantee that an author will be published. Like the major houses, small houses like Mundania receive a significant amount of queries. And the numbers of submissions keeps increasing. Right now, Mundania estimates that it only accept one query in five-hundred. Anyone assuming that a small press does not have high standards and therefore will publish anything is wrong. When I received an e-mail from the publisher letting me know that my novel had been accepted, I was thrilled. I knew that I'd accomplished something major.

Since then, my experiences have been very positive, and I like that I've been able to cut my publishing teeth with a small press. The editors are very easy to work with and the publishers work hard to keep their writers happy. There is ample opportunity to network with other Mundania authors. I've been able to give input into such things as my cover art and am allowed to ask questions and offer opinions. Perhaps most importantly, there have not been major turnovers in staff and therefore I have not been passed around to people who aren't familiar with my work.

I am finding, however, that there are stigmas against publishing with a small press. Some people seem to think that "small press" and "vanity press" are the same thing. This is not true. Mundania passes the vanity press litmus test with flying colors. That is, they pay me for my work; I do not pay them. And although I was not given an advance, my royalty percentages are the same as those given to authors at larger houses. In fact, Mundania's royalties on e-books are significantly greater than those offered by large publishing houses.

Another difference between larger houses and a small press is exposure. This seems to be a sticking point for some people who think that, because a small press author is expected to promote her books, she is somehow being taken advantage of by the publisher. However, authors in larger houses - especially new authors - are expected to do this as well. Bookstore signings, speaking engagements, public appearances, maintaining an author website and blog are all tools that all authors must to use if they want to promote their books and boost sales.
For writers who are unsure of whether or not to try a small press, I would highly recommend it but with a caveat. Do your research to make sure that the publishers you are interested in are reputable. Check their booklists and publishing records. Definitely read a few of the novels they have published. Finally, realize that you will be responsible for promoting your work. But if you are willing to put in this effort, a small press may be just what you're looking for.

Make Yourself Invisible

As writers, we are, at times, tempted to show off our skill. We want to write that amazing word picture of the windswept coastline or give a detailed description of our favorite character. We are artists, and words are our medium...

Okay, let's get real. Yes, writers use words to create pictures for their readers, but they also use words to tell stories. Too much description, however, will bog down a story; it may even stop it in its tracks. Personally, I'll take a well-written descriptive sentence over a lumbering paragraph every time. Maybe that makes me a cretin, I don't know. But what I do know is that I'm not alone in this opinion.

Today, the editing blog The Blood-Red Pencil posted a link to an essay written by Elmore Leonard entitled "Easy on the Hooptedoodle". Some of the hints include not opening with a discussion on the weather, not going into too much detail in our character descriptions, and not to use words like 'suddenly'. If you are unfamiliar with Leonard's work, I highly recommend picking up one of his books. His prose is tightly written and full of action yet contains vivid descriptions and interesting characters. The man is a terrific writers and knows what he's talking about in this essay!

Putting your thumbprint squarely on your manuscript is as bad of an idea as putting it in the middle of the pie you just baked. You might appreciate it, but others probably will not.

Life After Agents?

Writer Dean Wesley Smith posted an interesting bit about agents and what they do and don't do for a writer. There's some great history here as well as a not-often heard opinion on agents.

After you've read that, you can pop over to Absolute Write to hear what other authors (including yours truly) think about Smith's post.

Up

My friend the filmnut asked me to blog again for his site. Today's review is Up by Disney/Pixar.

Plot Progressions

Making readers want to read on, that's the writer's goal. No one wants to have their readers stop halfway through the book or story. Surprise endings are one way to create tension (though not a very good way.) So is dramatic irony. A third method is plot progression.

Plot progressions are a type of dramatic irony in that the audience is clued in to what is coming next. The story starts with a small action, repeats that action on a somewhat larger scale, and then repeats the action again with even greater consequences (and a greater payoff for the reader). Readers are kept on the hook because they can see where this course of action is leading (even if the protagonist cannot).

There are many, many examples of this kind of plot (in fact, I challenge you to come up with your own examples!), but my favorite comes from Stephen King's Pet Cemetery. (Warning: spoilers follow!)

Pet Cemetery centers around the idea that dead bodies buried in a secret Native American burial site will come back to life. Well, 'life' in a reanimated corpse kind of way. The plot begins with the death of a student; a person who is only marginally associated with the protagonist, Dr. Louis Creed. But this action makes Creed begin thinking about death and his own philosophy of the afterlife. Next, Creed's elderly neighbor dies, and the doctor gets a more personal look at the tragedy. A while later, Creed's daughter's cat dies and the doctor, unable to bear his child's sorrow, buries the cat in the enchanted cemetery. The results are disastrous, and he vows to never do it again. But then his son dies...

Looking at this progression, you can see how King builds the tension and intensifies the payoff. Sure, the audience has a pretty good idea of what is going to happen, but they can't wait to read it. Like watching an impending car wreck, you can't tear your eyes away.

Plot progression can be as simple as a fairy tale (which is the basis for such stories as Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Jack and the Beanstalk) or as complex as a Stephen King novel, but it is a terrific way to keep your readers involved in your story.